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Or: What Happens If I'm An Asshat Who Wants To Make Life Difficult For You?

Almost none of you ladies and gentlemen need to have this stuff spelled out because you are smart enough not to shit on the floor at parties, even if there isn't a sign on the wall that specifically says:

Please Do Not Shit On The Floor.

However, at every party (well, not the ones I throw anyway) there's often someone who thinks it's the height of comedy to pick fights, spill drinks on people on purpose, and indeed, shit on the floor. When confronted, they'll act like you're being unreasonable about the shit on the floor because there was no sign that said not to. They delight in being legalistic in interpreting everything and will care nothing about the fact that they're ruining the party for everyone else. Don't be that someone.

The fact is, Secret Society Wars is a party. We're opening up our server and making a game that you can play for free, and we ask you to donate what you can to keep the party going. We've invited you to come play, and we're totally cool with you bringing your friends to play as well. This whole thing is about having fun, meeting new people and expressing your creativity and skill.

That by itself should be enough, but it's been brought to my attention that some examples of inappropriate behavior should be provided for donations, to head those who love to be legalistic off at the pass, so to speak, so here goes:

If you attempt to submit a fraudulent donation, either by Paypal or via mail, your account will be *PERMANENTLY DISABLED FOR ALL TIME* and all information about you and your transaction will be forwarded to the proper authorities. What this means is: don't try to defraud us, and don't steal your momma's credit card, or anyone else's credit card, to make a donation. We have a multitude of authentication checks in place and we *WILL* catch you, expose your sorry pimply ass to the world and prosecute you to the full extent of the law. Aside from the obvious legal ramifications, trying to fake donations is just a really asshat thing to do - not only to us, but to your momma. We don't want the hassle, your momma doesn't want the hassle, and neither do you. :D

Q: On the donation page, you guys don't specify what will happen if you receive a donation that's not 10, 20, 50, or 100 dollars. This could happen through the mail OR over paypal. Are you guys going to just ignore those donations completely? Are you going to round down to the nearest specified increment? Are you going to divide it out and make it fair? What happens if I donate a penny? Do I get a fraction of an e-peen? Do I still get that cool shiny e-peen on my player profile? [HAvAAck]

A: The e-peen are appreciation gifts for specific donations, not an exchange of value for anything. you're not buying them - you're donating and we're expressing our gratitude for your donation.

If you're gonna be a dick about it with 1 cent mailed-in donations, rest assured that we'll feel no inclination to be grateful for your dickishness. In fact, the first person to do something like that will most assuredly earn a ban under the "no asshats" rule, and would most likely be made an example of in the hall of shame. Either that, or we'd just ignore them. (more likely, at least after the first one)

However, someone legitimately mailing in a check for $12.28 would get a thank you gift of 12 e-peen when we manually process the donation. I seriously doubt anyone would do this, as we only allow adults 18 or over onto the site and there won't be any 8-year-olds breaking open their piggy banks to send in the $2.14 they've saved for weeks to earn. Adults will be adult about it and will understand that donations under $10 won't get us all fired up to break our asses manually making sure they get a big thank-you reward. They'll know our time is better spent building the game.

Also, you'll find that you can't change the donation values in Paypal if you use the links on the donation page. They're set up as "packages" with a specific cost. You *could* manually send in a paypal payment to the donation email of a random amount of money, but it would be pointless to go through the extra steps and if you did, it wouldn't be assigned an internal SSW TXID and we wouldn't know your playerid or username to properly credit your account. Doing that would ensure that you don't get credit for the donation because we don't know who made it.

If you were smart enough to do that and somehow include your playerid/username in such a transaction, we'd just treat it like a mailed-in donation and the same rules as above would apply, if we happened to notice it. However, we'd very likely not notice it because it wouldn't be tracked by our internal system.

It is also possible to change the hidden "amount" field in the donation form and submit your altered form, but doing so would also mean that Paypal would take your money and give it to us, but you'd get zero credit because our processing script compares the amount of the transaction against the package and simply rejects it if they don't match up. Your transaction wouldn't be assigned an internal SSW TXID, and would never enter our tracking system.

Thank you for playing (:

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