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ABOUT RESETS AND RESET-SAFE ITEMS
  1. A note on items and resets.
    In SSW, the items you collect in your inventory are primarily a means to an end, that end being winning the game. The game is designed to have cycles bookended by resets, which are triggered by a win condition. After a game cycle is won by a particular society, military honors are given to the winners, and the game is reset. When this reset happens, all the items in your inventory are wiped out, except for certain items iterated in the list below. These reset-safe items are retained. You are encouraged to view all other items as expendable during endgame and you should consider liquidating unneeded items before the game is won to maximize your chances of winning.

  2. Definitions:

    • Game Cycle - One complete game cycle is defined as the period beginning just after one reset and ending with the subsequent reset.

    • Reset - At the end of a game cycle, a reset occurs. Reset is when all players are reduced to initiate status, all skills and known recipes/costumes are wiped and all players are reduced to beginners stats. All items in everyones inventories, display cases and secure storage are wiped out, except for reset-safe items.

    • Win Condition - When one society holds Military Supremacy (80%) for 7 straight days.

    • Winners - Members of the winning society who have played at least 1000 turns during the game cycle and who have logged in within the last 30 days before a win condition.


RESET-SAFE ITEMS:
"I Got Leid at the End Of The Universe" lei
This is a lei you got for being around when the Universe ended. Aloha!
120 Minute Nano Pale Ale
A rare bottle of 120 NPA, brewed and bottled by the Sombrero Microbrewery and Nanorobotics Lab in 3002.
Acme Convert-O-Matic
This is an ACME Convert-O-Matic™. Through the application of an extremely inefficient and significantly dangerous quantum demolecularization process (patent-pending), it enables its user to convert any two ACME O-Matic units into one of any other type of O-Matic unit.
ACME Facility Ore De-Randomizer
This ACME Facility Ore De-Randomizer allows you to choose which ores your drone facility consumes when you create the facility.
ACME Holistic Bulletproof Vest
The ACME Holistic Bulletproof Vest was an exceedingly useful piece of body armor back in the days when people used real bullets, but in modern times you tend to get shot with plasma wave energy generated by fruit. Fortunately, this vest also sometimes heals you when you are badly wounded in battle, so it isn't completely useless.
ACME Laxative Slacks
A rose by any other name smells nothing like a pair of ACME Laxative Slacks! Wearing these will raise the number of times you can use the bathroom by quite a lot more than you normally do, and you'll do it faster too!
ACME Laxative Timenesium Pickup Pants
This is a pair of ACME brand Laxative Timenesium Pickup Pants. In addition to being stylish and machine-washable, the bizarrely-shaped side pockets contain miniature gravity vacuums which assist you in picking up things that are dropped by others. These pants are made of pure Timenesium, which encases the wearer in a slightly attenuated time-saving field. Wearing them at the top of the hour gives you two extra turns. A rose by any other name smells nothing like a pair of ACME Laxative Timenesium Pickup Pants! Wearing these will raise the number of times you can use the bathroom by quite a lot more than you normally do, and you'll do it faster too!
ACME Luckily Confidential Pump
If you're lucky and use this pump in confidence, it will rob you of a little of both and give you drugs. Seems like a fair trade to me. Use once per day as directed. This item is reusable, but ewww..
ACME Maze Restarter
An ACME Maze Restarter, useful for teleporting yourself back to the beginning of a maze.
ACME Miner's Helmet
This ACME Miner's Helmet has a large headlight on the front, which helps you find more ore when you mine.
ACME Money Press
This is a tiny, pocket sized money press. Press the button and see how much money comes out!
ACME Red Rocket Boots
This is a sexy pair of Red Rocket Boots, just released by ACME, Inc. They appear to wirelessly interface with a standard Fusion Buddy Rocket Pack when worn in conjunction with one. Interfacing in this way will reprogram your rocket pack to use apples as fuel, and greatly increases the efficiency of the fusion warp drive using foot-mounted booster cores. This model comes with couplings for ACME Battlesuits. Designed for extreme space sex0ring action!
Acme Robotic Love Monkey
This is a sexy ACME robotic love monkey. Safe for use by all genders and orientations. Guaranteed satisfaction. Use once per day.
ACME Smiley Dictionary
An ACME Smiley Dictionary, listing dozens of smileys for use when chatting with other players. This dictionary can be used up to 5 times a day to boost your smiley (and other kinds of) power.
Acme Swift Yellow Powerup Boots
This is a beautiful pair of ACME brand Swift Yellow Powerup Boots. Powered by D-Cell batteries, they get you where you're going faster and also raise your tolerance for powerups!
ACME Timenesium Holistic Bulletproof Vest
This vest was an exceedingly useful piece of body armor back in the days when people used real bullets, but in modern times you tend to get shot with plasma wave energy generated by fruit. Fortunately, this vest also sometimes heals you when you are badly wounded in battle, so it isn't completely useless. Additionally, it has somehow been interwoven with pure Timenesium, which encases the wearer in a slightly attenuated time-saving field. Wearing it at the top of the hour gives you two extra turns.
Alcopop Party Thrower
The Alcopop Party Thrower. Created by the Master Mixologists at Lucky Spaceman Distilleries, it throws a party of pain at anyone it is pointed at. Yeow!
Custom Blaster Created For: Fubushi
Alien Gazing Ball
This is a gazing ball shaped like the head of an alien. You almost can't help but stare into the deep, black eyes. It is reputed to have restorative properties and some say that using the gazing ball often will energize you both spiritually and politically. At least, that's what it says in the brochure.
This item can be used only 5 times a day, no matter how many you have.
Aluminium Foil Fez
This is an Aluminium Foil fez, which might protect you from mind-control rays broadcast at you by the Government.. or maybe it might not.
ANX-PV73 Battle Rifle
The weapon favored by the notorious intergalactic marksman known as "The Demon" until Hadjuk squashed his ass and took it from him.
Custom Blaster Created For: Hadjuk
AR2 Baseball Cap
A commemorative baseball cap for those who survived Alpha Reset 2.
Artifact of the Phallorca
This weapon is an ancient artifact, it seems to be very phallic in nature. Strange!
Custom Blaster Created For: adsynth
Ass of Steel Pants
This is a pair of pants with an intricate pattern of steel mesh shaped around the butt-cheeks and tailbone, which provide a remarkable amount of anal support and protection. This item was crafted with <3 for ToriForte.
Atomic Disassembler
This is an ACME Atomic Disassembler, which allows you to disassemble certain items for their component ingredients. The disassembler's self-recharging power source has a capacity to disassemble up to 3 items per day.
Banhammer Bazooka
HAMMER TIME! The bulkiest and meanest of all the weapons in the known universe, the Banhammer Bazooka is entrusted only to those who can handle the burden of responsibility. Each M-Cell battery inserted into the rear of the gun will be transformed into an extremely heavy and powerful Banhammer, which will then be ejected from the front of the Bazooka with a force so intense that n00bs, lusers, flamers, and trolls alike cower in fear... "My, my, my, my hammer hits you so hard Makes you say oh my lord Thank you for blessing me With a Banhammer Bazooka and some M-Cell Batteries Feels good when you know you're down A superdope moderator from SanFran Chitown And I'm known as such And this is a weapon uh you can't touch." - You can't touch this.
Custom Blaster Created For: ToriForte
Bazooka Joe
The Bazooka Joe is hell in a tubular form. Business in the front, and fireworks show in the back. It is an old, classic design, but this modernized version fires explosive ionized charges at high velocity.
Custom Blaster Created For: rowdog
BFG-8000
What can we say, it's a BFG.
Custom Blaster Created For: Nillmon
Big Black Cock
A giant smoke-black cock. Perhaps you should use it, but just once a day - you wouldn't want to stretch anything out too much. There are two things that it will always do, and two others it will sometimes do, if it's in the mood.
Birthday Present
This is a present you got for your birthday. Yay! Happy Birthday!
Black Betty
Look out boys, trouble has arrived! A good Southern girl is never without a better weapon. Meet Black Betty. This pistol is very much like her owner. Hailing from Alabama, both are so rock steady and always ready... To kick ass. Prepare for battle! Space will never be the same. Do you want to get into trouble?
Custom Blaster Created For: DivineE
Black Materia
This strange orb was found in a northern crater on the planet Terra; a dead lifeless world. Legend speaks of Black Materia as a weapon of pure evil, and upon hearing this Salen had to have it. he slaughtered the scientists studying it, and whisked it away with him. The weapon drifts just above the owners hand and fires a jet black ray of evil at their opponent, searing their very soul.
Custom Blaster Created For: Salen
Black Ornament
This is an X-Mas tree ornament, made of some nearly indestructible glass.
Black Rose
A rose is a rose by any other name, except a black one. Black roses are somehow cooler and more sexy than normal ones.
Blue Ornament
This is an X-Mas tree ornament, made of some nearly indestructible glass.
Blue Paper Hat
This is a hat that you made from some pretty blue paper.
Blue Paper Pants
This is a pair of pants that you made from some pretty blue paper.
Blue Paper Shirt
This is a shirt that you made from some pretty blue paper.
Blue Paper Shoes
This is a pair of shoes that you made from some pretty blue paper.
Blue Wrapping Paper
This is a wad of blue wrapping paper.
Boffo Blaster Boots
These are Boffo the Clown the XXIV's incredibly sexy rocket blaster boots, or at least an indistinguishable facsimile thereof. Wearing them with the properly amusing accessories is unusually attractive and bafflingly spaceworthy. It should also be noted that they are fueled by Bofhozonite ore and do not have fittings for the ACME Battlesuit.
Boomstick
"Listen up you primitive popsickles, this is my Boomstick!" This weapon was supposed to be used in the 2981 remake of Evil Dead entitled Evil Dead : The Return of Ash. Due to budget issues the movie was scrapped, but the Boomstick works just fine.
Custom Blaster Created For: pyroanarchist
Brown Paper Boots
This is a pair of boots that you made from some drab brown paper.
Brown Paper Hat
This is a hat that you made from some drab brown paper.
Brown Paper Pants
This is a pair of pants that you made from some drab brown paper.
Brown Paper Shirt
This is a shirt that you made from some drab brown paper.
Brown Wrapping Paper
This is a wad of brown wrapping paper.
BugFinder Badge
This is a badge given to reward those who have demonstrated their prowess in finding and reporting problems in the structure of the Universe.
Bugfinder Cape
This is a pretty sweet Bugfinder Cape, studded with paste jewels and lined with white satin. Elvis would be totally at home wearing this, if he had any experience finding bugs in places other than his privates.
Burlap Cloth
A large bit of burlap cloth.
Burlap Gift
An X-Mas gift wrapped in burlap.
Burlap Hat
A somewhat flimsy burlap hat.
Burlap Pants
A scratchy pair of burlap pants.
Burlap Shirt
A scratchy burlap shirt.
Burlap Shoes
A comfy pair of burlap shoes.
Calvinator
The favored around-the-middle wear of Neo-Calvinist Vamps.
Cheezy Poofer
This is an ACME brand Cheezy Poofer. It's cheese-a-licious!
Custom Blaster Created For: munk
Clear Ornament
This is an X-Mas tree ornament, made of some nearly indestructible glass.
Cocktail Monster Rocket Boots
This is a sweet pair of Cocktail Monster Rocket Boots, just released by ACME, Inc. They appear to wirelessly interface with a standard Fusion Buddy Rocket Pack when worn in conjunction with one. Interfacing in this way will reprogram your rocket pack to use vodka as fuel, and greatly increases the efficiency of the fusion warp drive using foot-mounted booster cores. This model comes with couplings for ACME Battlesuits.
Coconut Monkey Rocket Boots
A Pair of Coconut Monkey brand Rocket Boots. They appear to wirelessly interface with a standard Fusion Buddy Rocket Pack when worn in conjunction with one. Interfacing in this way will reprogram your rocket pack to use coconut shells as fuel, and greatly increases the efficiency of the fusion warp drive using foot-mounted booster cores. This model comes with couplings for ACME Battlesuits.
Commemorative Bottle of 3007 Champagne
A commemorative bottle of rather cheap, but potent, 3007 champagne. Given as a parting gift to those who helped celebrate the 3007 New Years festivities and the re-cloaking of Planet X. Compliments of Malcolm Ten.
Commemorative Bottle of 3008 Champagne
A commemorative bottle of rather cheap, but potent, 3008 champagne. Given as a parting gift to those who helped celebrate the 3008 New Years festivities and the re-cloaking of Planet X. Compliments of Malcolm Ten.
Commemorative Bottle of 3009 Champagne
A commemorative bottle of rather cheap, but potent, 3009 champagne. Given as a parting gift to those who helped celebrate the 3009 New Years festivities and the re-cloaking of Planet X. Compliments of Malcolm Ten.
Commemorative Bottle of 3010 Champagne
A commemorative bottle of rather cheap, but potent, 3010 champagne. Given as a parting gift to those who helped celebrate the 3010 New Years festivities and the re-cloaking of Planet X. Compliments of Malcolm Ten.
Commemorative Bottle of 3011 Champagne
A commemorative bottle of rather cheap, but potent, 3011 champagne. Given as a parting gift to those who helped celebrate the 3011 New Years festivities and the re-cloaking of Planet X. Compliments of Malcolm Ten.
Commemorative Bottle of 3012 Champagne
A commemorative bottle of rather cheap, but potent, 3012 champagne. Given as a parting gift to those who helped celebrate the 3012 Final New Years festivities on Planet X. Compliments of Malcolm Ten.
Commemorative Bottle of 3015 Champagne
A commemorative bottle of rather cheap, but potent, 3015 champagne. Compliments of Malcolm Ten in thanks for your services.
Commemorative Bottle of 3017 Champagne
A commemorative bottle of rather cheap, but potent, 3017 champagne. Compliments of Malcolm Ten.
Crate of Not-So-Good Samaritan Healing Kits
This is a full crate containing 10 Not-So-Good Samaritan Healing Kits.
Custom Blaster Request Form
This is a Custom Blaster Request Form. Using it will invoke a real form in which you can request a custom blaster. If approved, your requested blaster will be created and one will be sent to you. You will need a name and description for the blaster, and a reasonably large picture of the gun on a neutral background. (JPG or PNG only, please)
D3-V1Ls King Missile
These rare relics were the Ass'Ass'In sects' machines, devised for them to use in the Venusian Punitive wars. When they got off their ships at Eroticon69, they were bound in particularly fearsome training gangs, banging away at each other, going from dusk till dawn until they would collapse from exhaustion. Utilizing secret gunsmith Cod-Piece makers, they built potent detachable crotch mounted weapons which were carried cocked; when they got their hands around them, out they came when it was least expected. Shocking everyone suddenly exposed to the twin cylinders astride the single hard, long and thick barrel as it flashes out, the D3-V1Ls King Missile is chambered for a particularly heavy load that gives it a wicked blow and whose penetration leaves anyone on the receiving end on their knees, begging for release.
Custom Blaster Created For: Rakkasan
Damage Enhancement Belt
This is an ACME Damage Enhancement Belt. Wearing this belt while in combat can enable your weapon to do up to 10 more points of damage than it normally does.
Dangerous Desires Designer Death Deliverer
Highly coveted, from the golden beaches of Phallorus, to the steamy penile colony of Eroticon 69...This Sexy, Stylish, Golden gun is THE 'it' designer fashion accessory every well-dressed popsickle MUST have this season. Such luminaries as Liyana of the Eastern Stars has pioneered the look that everyone now craves...
Custom Blaster Created For: Liyana
Demat Gun
A portable time machine, sort of. The displacement area is too small to be of much use as anything but a weapon. Have your ass handed back to you sometime tomorrow. Rassilon engineered, and Master approved!
Custom Blaster Created For: vidicon
Despair
This weapon, a modified SIN7, was taken from a red caped hero, and turned into something wicked by Salen. Now this massive gun takes away the things you cherish most.
Custom Blaster Created For: Salen
Display Case Drone Reproduction Virus
This finely-crafted Display Case Drone Reproduction Virus will, when properly installed in your Display Case at the Museum of Collector's Collections, cause a state of unnatural excitement in the drones stored there. When this virus is activated, a certain number of the drones stored in your Display Case will reproduce hourly at a rate slightly superior to normal. Since normal is actually not at all, this is quite a significant improvement. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!
Display Case Interest Trojan
This finely-crafted Display Case Interest Trojan will, when properly installed in your Display Case at the Museum of Collector's Collections, cause an etherlink to be forged with the Inter Galactic Bank. When this etherlink is forged, any Starbux stored in your Display Case will gain interest daily at a rate slightly superior to a normal IG Bank account. To hide this activity from IGB auditors, no record is kept of this earned interest, it is simply added to your existing Display Cased Starbux. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!
Donny Dronefighter's Mini-DMG
This is one of the famous drone warrior Donny Dronefighter's personal Miniature Drone Making Games. This baby provides you with 5 attempts per day to win a jackpot of TEN THOUSAND BATTLE DRONES! You have a 50 in 10,000 chance to win the jackpot for each attempt. Even attempting to win the jackpot will gain you additional Power and Constitution for each attempt, for reasons not adequately explained in the sales literature.
Drone Awareness Goggles
A sweet set of ACME Drone Awareness Goggles, which will alert you to the presence of enemy drones in a sector before you enter, giving you time to backtrack without engaging them.
E-Penis
This is an item given to those generous souls who have donated financially to help continue the development and ensure the sustainability of the Universe.
Easy Button
A toy Easy Button manufactured by an office supply warehouse in the late 23rd Century. For the most part, they do little except improve your constitution, but once in a great while a malfunction happens and a great deal of money spontaneously appears when you use it. This effect has caused the few examples that still exist to become highly sought collectors items.
EB-0 Cosmic Ray Gun
The Gibson EB-0 is a cosmic ray gun by Gibson that was introduced in 2959. It is a short-range 800 IP model instead of the regular 804 IP. It has a silver body and neck, a banjo type tuner, and comes with a large black pickguard made of non-laminated plastisteel. It came only in cosmic silver. The original EB-0 stayed in production from 2959 to 2961. About 500 were made, but in 2961 the body changed rather dramatically. It became more like the SG model, but retained the name.
Custom Blaster Created For: potsticker
El Mariachi
The El Mariachi is a vintage .475 Wildey Magnum outfitted for spacefaring devastation. A .475 Wildey Magnum was famously used in some of the finest cinema of 20th century Earth, namely Desperado, Death Wish 3, and Robocop 3. The most distinguishing feature of the El Mariachi is its hue, which guarantees that an opponent's final words will be "Pink? WTF?"
Custom Blaster Created For: Schmurrr
Electric Hammer
A marvel of engineering, this electric hammer uses Bo Ray M batteries to deliver a good bang, should you ever need one.
Custom Blaster Created For: Fubushi
Envision Success Moneyshades
Wearing these shades at the top of the hour gives you 50 extra trades.
Fingerbanger
The first fingerbang pistol belonged to the infamous Eric Cartman, but the secret of its manufacture was soon released to the world by a spy for the enemy (suspected to be Wendy Testaburger, but this has never been proven). So now anyone can fingerbang-bang you into their life.
Custom Blaster Created For: falcotron
Fnordinator 23k
This rifle can be a bit difficult to handle at first due to the odd weight distribution. The stock is solid wood, but the strange glass tube near the barrel is nearly weightless. This strange, weightless tube is also what makes the damage from the Fnordinator 23k unique. Ancient Atlantean technology is used to convert the power from the rifle's ammunition into fnords, which are fired at the target. Ignorance is not bliss... The fnords hurt worse when you can't see them coming.
Custom Blaster Created For: kallisti
Furious Anger
Want to be a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker without the indignity of being on brain detail? Get yourself a top-of-the-line Furious Anger (TM). Guaranteed to shepherd the weak through the valley of darkness, or your starbux back!
Custom Blaster Created For: SilliusSoddus
Gamewidget
Combines the properties of the ACME Money Press, Donny Dronefighter's Mini-DMG, Easy Button, Honty Mall's "Let's Deal!" Game, and the Max Million's Mini-MMG. Use 5 times daily. Those possessing disassemblers are encouraged to double-dip.
Gamewidget Constructor
Combines with ACME Money Press, Donny Dronefighter's Mini-DMG, Easy Button, Honty Mall's "Let's Deal!" Game, and the Max Million's Mini-MMG to create a Gamewidget, which combines the properties of all 5. Saves space in your "Use" screen. Those possessing disassemblers are encouraged to double-dip.
Gay Ray
The rainbow gay ray saps the strength and drains the heterosexuality out of even the toughest popsickle. He-ey!
Custom Blaster Created For: ThatKat
Gibson EB-0
This is a Gibson EB-0 Bass Guitar, black finish, modified to shoot bullets like an uzi rifle, using battery power. This is 'the' king of the axes, just by holding it you feel the incredible power of Atomsk flowing through you. Got giant hand shaped robots? They're no match for this baby.
Custom Blaster Created For: Natsa
Gibson Firebird
Built in 1965, this Gibson Firebird guitar is impressive in that it has not biodegraded, but is still producing devastating blows with devastating tone. The Firebird's through-body neck construction gives it impressive sustain that some say you can hear even in the vacuum of space!
Custom Blaster Created For: glen
Gibson Flying V
This is a red Gibson Flying V. The guitar seems to have been modified to shoot rays using battery power, interestingly enough. You have the strange urge to whack someone in the head with this guitar while wielding it, and it makes you want to go out and buy a Vespa. Hanging out with robots with televisions for heads doesn't seem like such a bad idea, and you somehow feel like a space pirate.
Custom Blaster Created For: Natsa
Gold Ornament
This is an X-Mas tree ornament, made of some nearly indestructible glass.
Gold Paper Hat
This is a hat that you made from some pretty gold paper.
Gold Paper Pants
This is a pair of pants that you made from some pretty gold paper.
Gold Paper Shirt
This is a shirt that you made from some pretty gold paper.
Gold Paper Shoes
This is a pair of shoes that you made from some pretty gold paper.
Gold Wrapping Paper
This is a wad of gold wrapping paper.
Gradebook Glock
Remember in 5th grade how you hated getting your report card? How Mrs. Kowalski always gave you a grade guaranteed to get you grounded for at least 2 weeks? This pistol concentrates all the anguish and humiliation of an entire grade school of report cards and fires it directly into your flesh. All of your poorly written essays, late homework, and terrible tests blast into you like one of Mrs. Kowalski’s evil glares. You’re sure to get an A... In PAIN!
Custom Blaster Created For: sputnik
Gragbaw
This is a Gray, Red, And Green Beam Automatic Weapon, commemorative edition. Unlike the forgettable versions, it cannot even destroy planets. Like the forgettable versions, it was not designed by someone who understands style or fashion.
Custom Blaster Created For: xKiv
Grammar Nazi Chalkboard Pointer
This is the sort of chalkboard pointer favored by Grammar Nazis. Proper usage dictates that the user thwack the side of his or her thigh with it like a riding crop and then wave it wildly in the air while pontificating on how wrong Emperor Norton was to outlaw the Oxford Comma. Incorrect usage will void your warranty and may possibly cause your genitalia to explode. You could put someone's eye out with this thing.
Grammar Nazi Jackoff Boots
This is a pair of boots designed to protect the wearer's feet from being excessively soaked in the jizz that results from the wearer's joygasm from finding insignificant and debatable grammar mistakes. :P
Great Vengeance
Battling the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men has never been quicker and easier than with this little beauty. Think you need shotguns for this shit? Not with Great Vengeance!
Custom Blaster Created For: SilliusSoddus
Green Giant Gloves
There was once a green giant made of money, who roamed the planets beating people up. These are gloves made from his skin, and are reputed to help you do more damage and get more money when you inevitably must resort to violence to get the things you want.
Green Ornament
This is an X-Mas tree ornament, made of some nearly indestructible glass.
Green Paper Hat
This is a hat that you made from some pretty green paper.
Green Paper Pants
This is a pair of pants that you made from some pretty green paper.
Green Paper Shirt
This is a shirt that you made from some pretty green paper.
Green Paper Shoes
This is a pair of shoes that you made from some pretty green paper.
Green Wrapping Paper
This is a wad of green wrapping paper.
Green X-Mas Gift
Yay! A Green X-Mas gift!
Gretsch 6120
This Gretsch 6120 (Brian Setzer model) has been modified into a tommy gun, specifically for degenerate23. Whether it is laying down a focused beam of resonance produced by rockabilly twang or firing off the volleys of drunken country strumming, this axe has the chops to match any you'll find in space. If you think you can handle what it can throw, you haven't seen the action from the whammy bar.
Custom Blaster Created For: Natsa
Gyrojet Rocketeer
The Gyrojet is a family of unique firearms developed in the 1960s which fire small rockets rather than inert bullets. The projectiles leave the muzzle at a very low velocity, and reach their maximum velocity around 60ft away from the muzzle. Accuracy is increased by spinning the projectile, which creates the gyroscopic effect referred to by the name.
Custom Blaster Created For: crashnburn11
Happiness
Ever heard of killing with kindness? Well, this weapon takes that statement literally. Somehow it takes the energy from the batteries in its chamber and transforms them into a shot of pure rhythm and blues. Your enemy will be a jealous guy after getting hit with this, a bloody jealous guy, not to mention blown across the universe. You'll want to carry this with you eight days a week. But damn, this gun is warm.
Custom Blaster Created For: Natsa
Happy Fun Ball
This is a gazing ball shaped like a large smiley face. You almost can't help but stare into the deep, black eyes. There is a label on the bottom that reads:
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. For heavenly appreciate Happy Fun Ball, put eyes fully on shiny countenance. For increase potency and happiness, use daily 10 time.
This item can be used only 10 times a day, no matter how many you have. Click here for a full list of available emoticons.
Hell's Fury
Dance, mother****er, dance!
Custom Blaster Created For: captainlongdong
Helmet of Poor Anger Management
This is a bright red helmet once used in ancient anger management classes to challenge those students who thought they had the whole anger management thing down pat. It's bright red, oppressively heavy, hard to see out of and lined with tiny spikes that make you itch constantly. Wearing this might make you feel less chivalrous.

When wearing this item in space, your limitation on number of times you can PvP a single player per day is raised by 2.

Hero of Mars Medal
This medal proclaims that you are a hero of the Martian people. You probably did something very heroic for the Little Green Men in order to earn this medal.
Honty Mall's "Let's Deal!" Game
This is a portable version of Honty Mall's "Let's Deal!" Game, the game where there's always a chance for a deal. This game provides you with 5 attempts per day to win a jackpot of ONE THOUSAND Trade Recharge Hypos! You have a 50 in 10,000 chance to win the jackpot for each attempt. Even attempting to win the jackpot will gain you additional Power and Constitution for each attempt, as well as the occasional stray hypo or two that just seems to drop out of the thing for no reason.
I Survived Reset Alpha 1 T-Shirt
This is a T-Shirt that proclaims to the universe that you survived the Alpha 1 Reset. Aren't you special.
Iggy's Popper
This is Iggy's gun. There are many like it, but this one is his.
Custom Blaster Created For: Ignatious
Imperial Bounty Device
An Imperial Bounty Device. This device provides an interface for enhanced interaction with the Imperial Bounty System, allowing you to place bounties on other players and track players who've had bounties placed on them.
Industrial Disassembler
This is an ACME Industrial Disassembler, which allows you to disassemble certain items for their component ingredients. The disassembler's self-recharging power source has a capacity to disassemble up to 20 items per day.
Infinitely Intermittent Invisibility Ammo Belt
This is the Infinitely Intermittent Invisibility Ammo Belt, made by combining an ACME Intermittently Infinite Ammo Belt and an Intermittent Invisibility Belt. It was only recently discovered that the functions of both belts could be combined by fusing them with an ACME Belt-o-Matic. The examples that exist are highly prized by collectors even though they only function at intermittent intervals. NOTE: The belt will not generate ammo if you do not have enough on-hand to use your weapon, as it requires adequate sample material for the purposes of generating duplicate material.
Intermittent Invisibility Belt
The Intermittent Invisibility Belt, made in limited test runs by ACME, Inc. during the Efficiency War in 2912. ACME never perfected the efficiency of the model enough for it to be widely adopted by the opposing forces in that war, so remaining examples that exist are highly prized by collectors even though they only function at intermittent intervals.
Intermittently Infinite Ammo Belt
This is the Intermittently Infinite Ammo Belt, made in limited test runs by ACME Inc. during the Efficiency War in 2912. The belt was supposed to eliminate the need for carrying ammo for your weapons by generating whatever ammo you need, as it is needed. However, ACME never perfected the efficiency of the model enough for it to be widely adopted by the opposing forces in that war. The examples that exist are highly prized by collectors even though they only function at intermittent intervals. NOTE: The belt will not generate ammo if you do not have enough on-hand to use your weapon, as it requires adequate sample material for the purposes of generating duplicate material.
Jim Baccus Booze Belt
This is a booze belt that would make Baccus proud. Wearing it close to your kidneys makes it appear that you are 3 less drunk than you actually are, as long as you have it equipped.
Jim Baccus Magnotronic Damage Enhancement Booze Belt
This is a booze belt that would make Baccus proud. Wearing it close to your kidneys makes it appear that you are 3 less drunk than you actually are, as long as you have it equipped. The belt has magnotronic properties that are quite attractive to money. Wearing this belt while in combat can also enable your weapon to do up to 10 more points of damage than it normally does.
KayTell Minipopper
The mid-21st century foray into arms manufacture by Ronald Pop-eel IV and KayTell led to the development of this retro-styled sonic weapon. Squeeze the trigger and assail your target with the super sounds of British children singing 20th century pop songs, accompanied by headache inducing visual distortion! That's incredible!
Custom Blaster Created For: Landstreicher
Kramer Kruncher
This is a vintage Kramer guitar, one of the last few in existence, modified into an awesome axe slash tommygun. It converts battery power directly into waves of pure energy, which get stronger with the more complicated riffs you play.
Custom Blaster Created For: Natsa
Lady Die
Just the thing for royally fucking someone up in a very ladylike manner. Connoisseurs will note the diamond stud in the handle and the ruby heart appliqué. While this may not be the most beautiful handgun in the universe, it's certainly competing for tackiest.
Custom Blaster Created For: BlueFairy
Large Blue X-Mas Gift
A large blue X-Mas gift.
Large Brown X-Mas Gift
An X-Mas gift wrapped in brown paper.
Large Red X-Mas Gift
A large red present.
Laser Cat
In 2480, there was a nuclear war on a small planet populated mainly by felines. Because of all the radiation, cats developed the ability to shoot lasers out of their eyes. Some will use the cats for good, others for evil. Who will win in a world of....LASER CATS!?! Umm... Good luck putting the batteries in this one.
Custom Blaster Created For: TinOmenWorlock
Long Brown X-Mas Gift
An X-Mas gift wrapped in brown paper.
M41-A Pulse Rifle
The only weapon proven to deter "face huggers" just by its appearance alone.
Hicks: "I like to keep this handy... for close encounters."
Frost: "I heard *that.*"
Custom Blaster Created For: Hadjuk
Mad Scorpion
This was a weapon that was in development for autonomous desert missions. The designer was killed in a tragic sea turtle pileup, so the legs and movement systems were never finished. It still works good if you pick it up by the tail and point it at your opponent though.
Custom Blaster Created For: crashnburn11
Magnotronic Lifting Belt
This is a very attractive Magnotronic Lifting Belt. It's very attractive to money, that is.
Malware 03-K64 Browncoat
A common sidearm used by the losing side in that famous war no one seems to like to talk about but always seems to claim one side or the other in the bars around the 'Verse.
Custom Blaster Created For: DoctorPhobos
Mark XIII
This is Hardware Industries' Mark XIII self-repairing combat blaster rifle prototype. Though it never entered full production, a zone tripper came across a buried stash of them in the radiation desert outside New Hong Kong. Mark XIII - "...no flesh shall be spared."
Custom Blaster Created For: datacore
Market Madness Boots
These boots are made for tradin', and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna trade all over you! Wearing these boots at the top of the hour gives you 50 extra trades.
Master Blaster
What's love got ta do with it, got ta do with it?
Custom Blaster Created For: spacecowboy
Max Million's Mini-MMG
This is one of the famous gambler Max Million's personal Miniature Money Making Games. This baby provides you with 5 attempts per day to win a jackpot of ONE MILLION STARBUX! You have a 50 in 10,000 chance to win the jackpot for each attempt. Even attempting to win the jackpot will gain you additional Power and Constitution for each attempt, for reasons not adequately explained in the sales literature.
Molotov Cocktail
This is a bottle of flammable liquid with a lit rag stuffed into the top. You might want to do something with it pretty quick.
Mr. Lucky Golden Horse Shoe
This is a genuine Mr. Lucky Golden Horse Shoe. It has been enchanted by the luckiest winners in the universe, so rubbing it now and then should produce interesting results.
Multipettor
This is a relic from the little known ELISA wars. Fought between the forces of Peroxidites and Phosphatites, two fanatical factions of the believers of the obscure goddess Antibodia. The war was a violent struggle to determine the true "Secondary Antibodia", and it finally ended when the last remaining faithful of each side killed each other in a mutual ambush by a full frontal assault from the rear.
Custom Blaster Created For: Vonbek
Mysterious Green Pyramid
A mysterious green pyramid, shiny with the wear of a thousand hands rubbing the surface in search of luck, or other things. This item can be used only 5 times a day, no matter how many you have.
Neutronic Disassembler
This is an ACME Neutronic Disassembler, which allows you to disassemble certain items for their component ingredients. The disassembler's self-recharging power source has a capacity to disassemble up to 3 items per day.
New Year's Eve 3008 Party Hat
A shiny blue party hat emblazoned with the words "3008 - Happy New Year!"
New Year's Eve 3009 Party Hat
A shiny blue and pink party hat emblazoned with the words "3009 - Happy New Year!"
New Year's Eve 3010 Party Hat
A shiny black and silver party hat emblazoned with the words "3010 - Happy New Year!"
New Year's Eve 3011 Party Hat
A fluffy black and purple party hat emblazoned with the words "3011 - Happy New Year!"
New Year's Eve 3012 Party Hat
A black and shiny gold party hat emblazoned with the words "3012 - Happy New Year!"
New Year's Eve 3017 Party Hat
A shiny silver party hat emblazoned with the words "3017 - Happy New Year!"
New Years Eve 3007 Party Hat
A neon blue party hat to wear whilst celebrating the New Year and Re-Cloaking Day 3007! Rumor has it that if you are wearing the party hat when Planet X re-cloaks, Malcolm Ten will give you a special part(y)ing gift!
Not-So-Good Samaritan Healing Kit
This is a Not-So-Good Samaritan Healing Kit. Using it in space will allow you to fully heal another person in the same sector that you are in.
Noticer of the Infinitesimally Significant Badge
You notice infinitesimally significant things. Yay for you!
Octo-Pettor
Another relic of the ancient ELISA wars. The pride and joy of Cor-Ning Arms Corp of the twin sun planet of Costaria. Like the adverts used to proclaim, "when 1 is not enough and 12 is too many, nothing else channels your blood lust like the Octo-Pettor! Domin-8, Obliter-8, and Termin-8!!"
One-Time Use Trades Wand
It is said when a technology has advanced enough beyond the understanding of the user that it might as well be magic. By that standard, this is a magic wand. Use once to bestow an effect on yourself or another player which grants +50 trades regeneration per hour for 100 hours, cumulative with other effects which may be active on the player it is bestowed upon. If this effect is already active on that player, the wand will add 100 hours to the existing duration of the effect. The wand is consumed on use, and you can only use one trades wand per day.
One-Time Use Turns Wand
It is said when a technology has advanced enough beyond the understanding of the user that it might as well be magic. By that standard, this is a magic wand. Use once to bestow an effect on yourself or another player which grants +2 turns regeneration per hour for 100 hours, cumulative with other effects which may be active on the player it is bestowed upon. If this effect is already active on that player, the wand will add 100 hours to the existing duration of the effect. The wand is consumed on use, and you can only use one turns wand per day.
Orb of Life
This is a super shiny orb known for its great powers of healing. It appears to be made of thousands of tiny seahorses embedded in a crystal orb. All you know is that it makes you feel good when you rub it, and sometimes unique stuff comes out the end when you do.
This item can be used only 5 times a day, no matter how many you have.
Ore Mining Fool
This is an ES-Labs Ore Mining decoy weapon. Tired of having Amaranth snipers only PvP'ing you when you've got your guard down? Not anymore!
Custom Blaster Created For: vidicon
P.P. Elvis
The P.P. Elvis is an exact replica of a weapon from a bygone era owned by the King of 20th Century Earth, Elvis Presley. It is said he used this weapon to repel an invasion of aliens disguised as television sets, but nobody's really sure about the historical accuracy of the event. All history has now is a 45 RPM record of Jail House Rock and a photo of this old revolver.
Custom Blaster Created For: urbanred
Pair of Beer Goggles
Wow, people sure do look a lot sexier when viewed through your beer goggles!

The number of times you can PvP Sex0r someone is raised by +2 per day when wearing these.

Pair of Sticky-Finger Gloves
This is a pair of sticky-finger gloves coated with AntiTef. This exclusive coating allows you to hold onto more of what you pick up by actively manipulating van der Waals forces to bind objects to your hands.
Peril-Insensitive Beer Goggles
Wow, people sure do look a lot sexier when viewed through your peril-insensitive beer goggles! Wearing them also makes other people somewhat insensitive to the peril they face from you.

The number of times you can PvP Sex0r someone is raised by +2 per day when wearing these.

Peril-Insensitive Sunglasses
A really hoopy pair of Joo Janta 2000 Super Chromatic Peril-Insensitive Sunglasses. Wearing them makes other people somewhat insensitive to the peril they face from you. This is done by projecting a specially-tuned S.E.P. field around the wearer, which blinds observers to what you happen to be wearing.
Pickup Pants
This is a pair of ACME brand Pickup Pants. In addition to being stylish and machine-washable, the bizarrely-shaped side pockets contain miniature gravity vacuums which assist you in picking up things that are dropped by others.
Pimpin' Bugfinder Boots
This is a sweet pair of Pimpin' Bugfinder Boots. Stomp heavy, you pimpin' bugfinder!
Plager Katsumate Series-D Blaster (PK-D)
The "Series D" was designed in 1992 (or was it 2021?) by weapons designer Lars Powderdry to replace the old style "laser tubes" that were, by that time, considered horribly outdated by the (ever fashion conscious) bounty-hunters that used them most frequently. Unloading one of these babies makes you feel like you're really "...part of the form destroying process of entropy!" Whatever THAT means!
Custom Blaster Created For: PhilipKDick
Poorly-Drawn MSPaint Blaster
Defying the rules of both physics and good art, the Poorly-Drawn MSPaint Blaster fires small unidentifiable blobs of paint goo at the enemy.
Custom Blaster Created For: Tendai
Powerup Helmet
This is a swank Powerup Helmet, made by the Tusken branch of ACME, Inc. When worn and wired into the brain, it increases your endurance for absorbing powerups by 2 per day, on top of any other bonuses you may be entitled to.
Powerup Helmet of Poor Anger Management
This is a strange hybrid of two very powerful helmets, the Powerup Helmet and the Helmet of Poor Anger Management. Oddly, this strange mashup manages to contain the powers of both helmets in a single unit. That's pretty cool, don't you think?
Purple Ornament
This is an X-Mas tree ornament, made of some nearly indestructible glass.
Pyramid of Asclepius
This is a really groovy pyramid known for its great powers of healing. It appears to be made of thousands of tiny ceramic and metal beads embedded in a crystal pyramid, and presumably connected together to make some ancient power circuit. All you know is that it makes you feel good when you rub it, and sometimes unique stuff comes out the end when you do.
This item can be used only 5 times a day, no matter how many you have.
Quantum Disassembler
This is an ACME Quantum Disassembler, which allows you to disassemble certain items for their component ingredients. The disassembler's self-recharging power source has a capacity to disassemble up to 3 items per day.
Queen Mab
She is the fairies’ midwife, and she comes
In shape no bigger than an agate-stone
-Shakespeare

She's the bringer of dreams, whether they be of pleasure or pain.
Today, she's all about the pain.
Custom Blaster Created For: DivineE
Railway Rifle
You have no idea what depth of hell this contraption was made in. Not only does it fire railway ties across space, but the train horn that is blown prior to discharge is enough to scare the boots off anybody. The barrel end of this one is sure to send you to see its maker.
Rainbow Ornament
This is an X-Mas tree ornament, made of some nearly indestructible glass.
Red Ornament
This is an X-Mas tree ornament, made of some nearly indestructible glass.
Red Paper Hat
This is a hat that you made from some pretty red paper.
Red Paper Pants
This is a pair of pants that you made from some pretty red paper.
Red Paper Shirt
This is a shirt that you made from some pretty red paper.
Red Paper Shoes
This is a pair of shoes that you made from some pretty red paper.
Red Wrapping Paper
This is a wad of red wrapping paper.
Retro Rifle
The Retro Rifle was made as an attempt by an old scientist to get his pupil to understand what he went through when he was a child. Sadly his attempts were in vain when the only thing the rifle did was make his pupil go insane with images of being attacked by G.I. Joe and Optimus Prime. So the Scientist stowed this rifle away in hopes that one day it could be used to make everyone relive the good ol' days.
Custom Blaster Created For: Treaton86
RFX White Stamp
An RFX White Stamp. This stamp, and others identical to it, are redeemable at the 1337 Hut for interesting items.
Rickenbacker Bass
This is a custom made Rickenbacker bass guitar/sniper rifle, that uses battery power to blast enemies from afar. With hand-crafted woodwork made especially for Toothless, it manages to look like a dream and kick ass at the same time. Watch out for the recoil on this baby, though, she'll kick you hard.
Custom Blaster Created For: Natsa
Robotik Limbz Lazer
This is a robotik limbz0r modified for a laser pistol attachment. Custom made for a goofy popsickle that, when thawed, couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that there are no robotik limbz in the future. "What good is the future if'n you cant run amok with robotik arms?" he kept asking in letter after letter to the Stoic Heroic Hero Apparel Company. After some combined assistance from Aces Technology Inc. this "kickass macheen" was built and the design plans thrown away. If found, please either destroy it or dismantle it and use the parts to turn it into a video game.
Custom Blaster Created For: zootaroonee
Rocket Propelled Chainsaw
This weapon was custom made for the 2981 re-make of Evil Dead, after a millenia of cult fanatics demanded it. Sadly, the construction of this weapon bankrupted the production studio and Evil Dead : The Return of Ash was never released. The weapon turned out to be amazing, but because of its cost no more were ever produced.
Custom Blaster Created For: pyroanarchist
Rubber Duck
A cute rubber duck.
Rubberband Lazer
"Hay, Baybee! Wake up from your asleep! We have arrived on to the FUTURE, And the whole world is become... ELECTRONIC! SUPERSONIC!" Ride away with me, we don't have much time. My blue-jeans is tight... So, onto my Love-Rocket climb! I want to lasso you, with my Rubberband LAZER!
Custom Blaster Created For: PhilipKDick
Rubberband Shotgun
The bands shot from this weapon travel fast to their target and sting like heck! This weapon is one of the last of its kind, held by the only surviving "Rubber Bandit", kilroyy.
Custom Blaster Created For: kilroyy
Samoflange
This is an ACME brand samoflange. After many centuries of study, scientists have determined exactly what it is and what it does. Unfortunately, so much money was spent on the research that the only way to recoup the costs is to charge a price so high for this knowledge that paying it would bankrupt the universe. The device itself is quite affordable.
Seeker Orb
This is a black Seeker Orb. Rubbing it might make interesting things drop out of it.
Sling-O
The Sling-O, otherwise known as the 'aggressive rubber band', comes in various shapes, sizes and strengths. This particular one arrived in a package for Atryom describing its salient points as "Large and Possibly Destructive".
Custom Blaster Created For: Atryom
Small Blue X-Mas Gift
A small blue X-Mas gift.
Small Brown X-Mas Gift
An X-Mas gift wrapped in brown paper. It's wrapped so prettily that you feel like you really shouldn't open it yet.
Small Red X-Mas Gift
A small, yet attractively wrapped, red present.
Smith
"Up the airy mountain, down the rushing glen, we dare not go a-hunting, for fear of little men." Prepare to be ASSinated!
Custom Blaster Created For: AxiSShadowbane
Snot Rocket
This blaster shoots sticky, radioactive green snot. Available in three colors (Blood Red, Fuck-it Fuchsia, and Ball Blues) pick the one that's right for you. Laser sight standard, each color sold separately, batteries not included.
Custom Blaster Created For: PixySnot
Southern Comfort
Provides a special brand of "comfort" to unsuspecting travelers of the universe. Maybe you want it, maybe you don't. There's only one way to find out.
Custom Blaster Created For: DivineE
Souvenir RFX Microphone
This is a Souvenir RFX Microphone bought by a loyal and wise Radio Free Xangaka listener, who won many RFX White Stamps by being a master of Google-Fu and useless knowledge.
Space Pirate Eye Patch
This Space Pirate Eye Patch is both a fashion and political statement. Wearing it while on a planet gives you just enough disrespect for the law that your shield generator will fail to function. Wearing it in space makes you feel like such a badass that your shield generator provides +5 damage protection. Wearing it in Imperial Court is a really bad idea.
Spray Can of UBIK
This is a spray can full of UBIK(tm) brand all-purpose spray. For your purposes though, it's just a plain old can of whup-ass!
Custom Blaster Created For: PhilipKDick
SSWcon Commemorative Grass Skirt
This may look like an ordinary grass skirt, but this particular skirt carries a label that reads "I went to SSWcon 0.5 and all I wore was this grass skirt!" This item was given to members who wore a grass skirt to SSWcon 0.5
Sticky-Finger Timeslip Green Giant Gloves
There was once a green giant made of money, who roamed the planets beating people up. These are gloves made from his skin, and are reputed to help you do more damage and get more money when you inevitably must resort to violence to get the things you want. These gloves have been coated with AntiTef. This exclusive coating allows you to hold onto more of what you pick up by actively manipulating van der Waals forces to bind objects to your hands. These gloves are also threaded with pure Timenesium, which encases the wearer in a slightly attenuated time-saving field. Wearing it at the top of the hour gives you two extra turns.
Stubby
This unique and ironically named weapon was made for the legendary 8 foot tall gunslinger Leonid Stadnyk by Bloody Stupid Johnson, the legendary gunsmith. Sadly, the first time Leonid Stadnyk used the weapon was the last time the Leonid Stadnyk ever used the weapon. The time it took to clear the barrel from the holster was simply too long, and Leonid Stadnyk was gunned down before he was able to completely draw the ironically named Stubby.
Custom Blaster Created For: Vonbek
Sub 1000 Turn Dimit Fez
This is a fez awarded to those who have completed a Dimit in fewer than 1000 turns.
Swinger's Bling
A faithful reproduction of the legendary Swinger's Bling of Larry, this bling is said to induce great amorous passions in the strangest of bedfellows. Leisure suit is optional.
Tele Pet Healer
An ACME Telekinetic-Telepathic Pet Healer. Powered by your own brain waves, the Tele Pet Healer focuses your healing powers to your little Doppel friend, restoring your pet's health and even giving your little friend a few experience points with each use.
This item can be used only 20 times a day, no matter how many you have.
Tentacle Rod
You can't tell exactly how this ancient alien artifact operates - is it super advanced technology or merely insufficiently advanced magic? However, the six writhing purple tentacles sure freak you out. You're glad you're not anywhere near it. Unfortunately, you don't have to be near it for it to be dangerous. Uh oh.
Custom Blaster Created For: Brianna
The Joker
"Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair. I believe... Whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you... STRANGER."
The SkidMark Maker
I'm your Huckleberry!
Custom Blaster Created For: captainlongdong
The Unnatural Selector
Based on Lord Cockswain's Ray Blunderbuss, nicknamed "The Unnatural Selector", Doctor Phobos made some subtle modifications for range and effect. While still able to disintegrate herds of the Tesorianian Gurglebeasts (who, by the way, have been known to become Opera and Pop Divas), Doctor Phobos re-aligned the power photo-nucleonic crystalline structure to increase the range. Modifications to the phuoro-quantum circuitry changes the beam to not only damage tissue, but due to quantum string theory, is able to damage the genetic material of the targets ancestors. Rumor has it, in testing his modifications; Doctor Phobos is responsible for the mass extermination of the Tesorianian Gurglebeasts. He is both derided and congratulated.
Custom Blaster Created For: DoctorPhobos
The Woody
Late in the 25th century, this old guitar was located in an ancient crate in NyaCity. Upon reading the writing on the guitar, the scientists decided to drop a Bo-Ray M battery into it to see what happened. Have you seen NyaCity lately?
Custom Blaster Created For: datacore
Thingwidget
Combines the properties of the Mr. Lucky Golden Horse Shoe, Mysterious Green Pyramid, Samoflange, Seeker Orb and Zurichite Artifact. Use 5 times daily. Those possessing disassemblers are encouraged to double-dip.
Thingwidget Constructor
Combines with Mr. Lucky Golden Horse Shoe, Mysterious Green Pyramid, Samoflange, Seeker Orb and Zurichite Artifact to create a Thingwidget, which combines the properties of all 5. Saves space in your "Use" screen. Those possessing disassemblers are encouraged to double-dip.
Timenesium Market Madness Tennis Shoes
A spiffy pair of black tennis shoes made of pure Timenesium, which encases the wearer in a slightly attenuated time-saving field. Wearing these at the top of the hour gives you two extra turns. Wearing these shoes at the top of the hour gives also you 50 extra trades.
Timenesium T-Shirt
A spiffy black t-shirt made of pure Timenesium, which encases the wearer in a slightly attenuated time-saving field. Wearing it at the top of the hour gives you two extra turns.
Timenesium Tennis Shoes
A spiffy pair of black tennis shoes made of pure Timenesium, which encases the wearer in a slightly attenuated time-saving field. Wearing these at the top of the hour gives you two extra turns.
Timenesium Trousers
A spiffy pair of black trousers made of pure Timenesium, which encases the wearer in a slightly attenuated time-saving field. Wearing it at the top of the hour gives you two extra turns.
Timeslip Timepiece
This is an ACME Timeslip Timepiece. It is made from pure Timenesium, which encases the wearer in a slightly attenuated time-saving field. Wearing it at the top of the hour gives you two extra turns.
Tittyhats
A sexy pair of Tittyhats, suitable for all ages and sexes. Although they are bright pink, horribly undignified and really rather distracting, scientific study indicates that just about every species in the galaxy is measurably more attracted to anyone wearing them.
Trade Visor of Angry Mining and Powerup Prowess
This Trade Visor of Angry Mining and Powerup Prowess helps you find more ore when you mine. When worn and wired into the brain, it increases the number of trades you receive per hour by 50 and increases your endurance for absorbing powerups by 2 per day, on top of any other bonuses you may be entitled to. It also increases your limitation on number of times you can PvP a single player per day by 2.
Trading Visor
Wearing this visor at the top of the hour gives you 50 extra trades.
Turducken
A delicious, juicy turducken!
TypoFinder Ribbon
This is an item given as a reward to those eagle-eyed people who catch typos and discontinuity in the Universe.
Ultima Ratio Stultorum
This is a laser capable of emitting a beam of pure antimatter, so it doesn't matter whether you press that button. Designed with sonic transduction technology, it is capable of emitting a noise so strident, so high, so exquisitely loud, that you ought not to press that button either. It's some kind of audio-vibratory-physio-molecular transport device, capable of breaking down solid matter and then projecting it through space and, who knows, perhaps even time itself! The net result is making many small holes through things, or cutting them apart when used in continuous fire mode. Ultima Ratio Stultorum: The Last Argument of Fools. Wise people would use this right away!
Custom Blaster Created For: Absalom
Universal Express <3 Card
This is the Universal Express <3 Card, which allows you to use the Universal Express Item Teleportation Service to send <3 of <3 items to any one person you'd like, <3 times a day, for free.
This item can be used only 2 times a day, no matter how many you have.
Universal Express DoublePlatinum Card
This is the Universal Express DoublePlatinum Card, which allows you to use the Universal Express Item Teleportation Service to send up to 40 of up to 40 items to any one person you'd like, up to 40 times a day, for free. This item can be used only 40 times a day, no matter how many you have.
Universal Express Gold Card
This is the Universal Express Gold Card, which allows you to use the Universal Express Item Teleportation Service to send up to 10 of up to 10 items to any one person you'd like, up to 10 times a day, for free. This item can be used only 10 times a day, no matter how many you have.
Universal Express Platinum Card
This is the Universal Express Platinum Card, which allows you to use the Universal Express Item Teleportation Service to send up to 20 of up to 20 items to any one person you'd like, up to 20 times a day, for free. This item can be used only 20 times a day, no matter how many you have.
Venatic 23
Stealth yet shiny; like a ninja, but not!
Custom Blaster Created For: aces44
Vibrating E-Penis
This is a vibrating E-Penis, for those times when a pony just isn't enough.
Weight Cheater Choker
A stylish choker manufactured by 'Weight Cheaters', an organization that helps people not gain weight even while cheating on their diet.

Food items eaten will have a 20% chance of not causing fullness, if eaten while wearing this choker.

Wesson
"Up the airy mountain, down the rushing glen, we dare not go a-hunting, for fear of little men." Prepare to be thighbinated!
Custom Blaster Created For: AxiSShadowbane
White Ornament
This is an X-Mas tree ornament, made of some nearly indestructible glass.
Winona
This is a standard issue pulse pistol. Unlike other standard issue pulse pistols, though, this one has a name. Why, you ask? Because others just don't feel the same. She'll never let you down, so long as you don't need her to deliver a convincing performance. Oh, and don't hit the button on her back labeled "overload"...
Custom Blaster Created For: The3
YangFlipper
An ACME YangFlipper. Using it will burn half of your Yang in order to reverse its polarity. Use of the ACME YangFlipper will seriously impact your social position, so be very certain you can deal with the consequences before you try it. This item will be consumed on use.
Yellow Ornament
This is an X-Mas tree ornament, made of some nearly indestructible glass.
Zahn's Pride
A rare and valuable relic from 1685. Johann Zahn created this gun to impress chicks by gaining an edge in gun fights. Sadly, the gun did little to attract admirers as it left all rather scared by its ability to steal a bit of the targets soul, which is quite painful indeed.
Custom Blaster Created For: stoicheroic
Ze Bluu Lightnin'
It's like thunder... And lightning. The way that it zaps you is frightening. Strangely, a faint aroma of bluu cheese permeates the firing chamber.
Custom Blaster Created For: Dan
Zoe Special
The Zoe is a replica Winchester Model 92 "Mare's Leg" rifle. It is shiny and is the perfect firearm for Big Damn Heroes who want to kick the go-se out of the 'verse's ne'er-do-wells (including zombies).
Custom Blaster Created For: Schmurrr
Zozo gun
A voodoo Zozo bone gun. It converts sex into death and sprays it all over one's enemies.
Custom Blaster Created For: BabylonHoruv
Zurichite Artifact
A strange Zurichite Pyramid that seems to radiate a powerful desire to trade.
This item can be used only 5 times a day, no matter how many you have.

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